Preservation Leads to Perseverance! 12-12-11, 12-19-11

I got an e-mail from my best friend the other day.  It really blessed me!  First, I want to say how important it is to have cheerleaders in your corner.  In this race we call life, sometimes you need someone to encourage you to keep the pace, keep running, and/or push a little harder.  But as I digress…...(LOL)… here’'s an excerpt from her e-mail: “"You preserve and you have perseverance.  Some people hold on to negativity and junk but you hold on to the positive and precious.  Some people start from scratch but you’'d rather add to something old to make it look new by sprucing it up.  I really admire that in you.  Keep preserving and persevering.  That really is a gift and not everyone knows this about you so it had to come from me.  …I see you!”"  I really never thought about it, but it’s true.  I hold on to a lot of things; from jewelry to clothes to poetry from years past.  Now I’'m not talking about junk (I declare I am not a hoarder! LOL!)  I mean things that will never go out of style or things to remind me of a certain time in my life.  I learned this from my mother.  When my mom found out I was pregnant, she revealed to me that she had saved my crib that she used when I was a baby.  It was in perfectly good condition.  Given my mother passed before my oldest was born, this meant a whole lot to me!  I used it for both of my children. 
If something isn’'t worth preserving, it should either be destroyed or given away.   To preserve also means to maintain or keep from danger and the opposite of it is to destroy.  Oftentimes, we do well at preserving tangible things but fail at preserving the things we can’'t see or touch.  There are some things in our lives that we need to preserve, things like our hearts, love for people and things that are healthy for us, positive relationships/friendships, positive thinking, health, family traditions, fond memories of loved ones who have passed away, etc.  So many of these things can be preserved and built upon to make your life more abundant.  Some of us have some intangible things in our lives that need to be dusted off, shined up, and spruced up to use as building blocks for other things in your life.  For instance, it use to be so painful to think about my mom.  We were so close and when she passed it was one of the most painful experiences I have ever encountered.  Given this, it was much easier for me to tuck her away, along with the pain, and not think about it.  But one day I realized that to think of her was to think of the things she taught me, which I decided to dust off and use as one of the building blocks for this website you are reading right now.  So, what I hope you get from this is, destroy or let go of the intangible negative things that are of no worth and will do you more harm than good and preserve the positive intangibles in your life and use them as building blocks to persevere and reach higher heights! 
Love Y’all!

Empty Threats 12-4-11

I was sitting at the table thinking about what in the world and I going to write this week.  My youngest was doing something he had no business and I was about to make one of those famous empty threats that we as mothers, wives, and girlfriends often make.  If you do (or don’t do) this, then…………!  If you do _______ again then I’m ________!  Then we follow up by………. (silence)……..(crickets)…….(more silence)…..  Yep that’s right, NOTHING!  Empty threats maybe considered as a form of manipulation.  We hope that those empty words will elicit the response and/or action we were hoping for.  The truth is empty threats are just that empty!  They are usually a result of some type of emotion; whether it be hurt, anger, etc.  I had a friend who would threaten her husband that she was leaving every time he committed, what I’ll call, a major offense.  The truth is, they both knew she wasn’t going anywhere.  He knew it, so he kept doing what he was doing.  Although, she may not have wanted to admit it to herself and anybody else, deep down she knew it too.  My mom would often say, “I can show you better than I can tell you.”   My mom was a woman of her word, if she said it, you bettah believe it’s going down! LOL!  Empty threats provoke temporary responses.  He may have appeared or even tried to change his behavior for a little while, but usually resorted back to his old behavior; and the cycle continued.  She would threaten him, he would appease her, then back to old behavior.  My thoughts are, if you love him, you love him!  It is much better that you maybe not say anything, voice how the action made you feel, and leave the threat alone; rather than start the cycle of empty threat after empty threat.  My mom told me when I started dating, don’t say it’s over or you’re leaving until you are ready to back it up.  It is what it is!  If you want to stay, then stay.  If you want to leave, be smart about it, and plan accordingly.  But, if you’re married and you can work it out, work it out.  I would never encourage a woman to leave her husband!  If you love him, you love him, and keep it movin’!  If you’ve had enough, then you’ve had enough, and keep it movin’!  If nothing else, remember this; No emotional decisions and no empty threats. Be a woman of your word.  Silence is okay.  Take the time to really think it out before you respond.  Love y'all for real!

Preservation Leads to Perseverance! 12-11-11

I got an e-mail from my best friend the other day.  It really blessed me!  First, I want to say how important it is to have cheerleaders in your corner.  In this race we call life, sometimes you need someone to encourage you to keep the pace, keep running, and/or push a little harder.  But as I digress…...(LOL)… here’s an excerpt from her e-mail: “"You preserve and you have perseverance.  Some people hold on to negativity and junk but you hold on to the positive and precious.  Some people start from scratch but you’d rather add to something old to make it look new by sprucing it up.  I really admire that in you.  Keep preserving and persevering.  That really is a gift and not everyone knows this about you so it had to come from me.  …I see you!”"  I really never thought about it, but it’s true.  I hold on to a lot of things; from jewelry to clothes to poetry from years past.  Now I’m not talking about junk (I declare I am not a hoarder! LOL!)  I mean things that will never go out of style or things to remind me of a certain time in my life.  I learned this from my mother.  When my mom found out I was pregnant, she revealed to me that she had saved my crib that she used when I was a baby.  It was in perfectly good condition.  Given my mother passed before my oldest was born, this meant a whole lot to me!  I used it for both of my children. 

If something isn’t worth preserving, it should either be destroyed or given away.   To preserve also means to maintain or keep from danger and the opposite of it is to destroy.  Oftentimes, we do well at preserving tangible things but fail at preserving the things we can’t see or touch.  There are some things in our lives that we need to preserve, things like our hearts, love for people and things that are healthy for us, positive relationships/friendships, positive thinking, health, family traditions, fond memories of loved ones who have passed away, etc.  So many of these things can be preserved and built upon to make your life more abundant.  Some of us have some intangible things in our lives that need to be dusted off, shined up, and spruced up to use as building blocks for other things in your life.  For instance, it use to be so painful to think about my mom.  We were so close and when she passed it was one of the most painful experiences I have ever encountered.  Given this, it was much easier for me to tuck her away, along with the pain, and not think about it.  But one day I realized that to think of her was to think of the things she taught me, which I decided to dust off and use as one of the building blocks for this website you are reading right now.  So, what I hope you get from this is, destroy or let go of the intangible negative things that are of no worth and will do you more harm than good and preserve the positive intangibles in your life and use them as building blocks to persevere and reach higher heights! 

Love Y’all!

Young Hoes Make Old Hoes! 11-27-11

I use to operate under the premise that a person couldn't be foolish all their life.  But, more recently I realized that that is not always true.  There are some men that will remain deadbeats until they die.  There are some women that will remain crazy baby mommas until they die.  In many instances, young fools make old fools and young hoes make old hoes.  (Yes I said hoes!)  Under my old thinking, it made perfectly good sense to me that over time and many life lessons, everybody learns from past foolishness, hurt, and stupid decisions and ultimately become super wise senior citizens.  YEA RIGHT!  I know a woman who is 80 years old.  She is more concerned about her appearance than she is the foolish things she says.  She is a complete diva; or at least she thinks she is!  She dresses very nice, keeps her hair whipped, wears very nice accessories, and wears expensive perfume.  She does not look her age at all!  But after having a conversation with her, I walked away amazed!  How we got on the subject I don't know, but this woman had the audacity to tell me Ive always loved dating married men!  I could be bothered with them when I wanted to and then they could go home to their wives.  (She probably still does!)  REALLY??  Who says that?!!!  Who says that to a married woman?!!!  And even more importantly, who says that at 80 years old?!!!  I guess what I expected to hear was Honey, when I was younger I did some crazy stupid things.  I dated married men, not thinking that one day I would be married and would hate for my husband to cheat.  But I guess not everyone learns from their mistakes.  Some people use those mistakes, those hurts, those dumb decisions as stepping stones to elevate them to higher levels of ignorance, bitterness, and foolishness.  I have said all this to say, in the words of my dad "Don't be a fool all your life!"  Really!  Don't go through life having learned nothing.  Don't be an 80 year old dead beat, an 80 year old fool, an 80 year old hoe, or an 80 year old bitter baby momma.  Who wants to go through life like that?!  I hope that everything I have experienced has made me better and wiser, not bitter and battered.