Empty Threats 12-4-11

I was sitting at the table thinking about what in the world and I going to write this week.  My youngest was doing something he had no business and I was about to make one of those famous empty threats that we as mothers, wives, and girlfriends often make.  If you do (or don’t do) this, then…………!  If you do _______ again then I’m ________!  Then we follow up by………. (silence)……..(crickets)…….(more silence)…..  Yep that’s right, NOTHING!  Empty threats maybe considered as a form of manipulation.  We hope that those empty words will elicit the response and/or action we were hoping for.  The truth is empty threats are just that empty!  They are usually a result of some type of emotion; whether it be hurt, anger, etc.  I had a friend who would threaten her husband that she was leaving every time he committed, what I’ll call, a major offense.  The truth is, they both knew she wasn’t going anywhere.  He knew it, so he kept doing what he was doing.  Although, she may not have wanted to admit it to herself and anybody else, deep down she knew it too.  My mom would often say, “I can show you better than I can tell you.”   My mom was a woman of her word, if she said it, you bettah believe it’s going down! LOL!  Empty threats provoke temporary responses.  He may have appeared or even tried to change his behavior for a little while, but usually resorted back to his old behavior; and the cycle continued.  She would threaten him, he would appease her, then back to old behavior.  My thoughts are, if you love him, you love him!  It is much better that you maybe not say anything, voice how the action made you feel, and leave the threat alone; rather than start the cycle of empty threat after empty threat.  My mom told me when I started dating, don’t say it’s over or you’re leaving until you are ready to back it up.  It is what it is!  If you want to stay, then stay.  If you want to leave, be smart about it, and plan accordingly.  But, if you’re married and you can work it out, work it out.  I would never encourage a woman to leave her husband!  If you love him, you love him, and keep it movin’!  If you’ve had enough, then you’ve had enough, and keep it movin’!  If nothing else, remember this; No emotional decisions and no empty threats. Be a woman of your word.  Silence is okay.  Take the time to really think it out before you respond.  Love y'all for real!