Superwoman 10-30-11

Singing “I’m not your Superwoman, I’m not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everything’s okay. Boy, I am only human.……….” in my Karyn White voice.  Ladies, ladies, ladies, how many of us have declared “I am not your superwoman” as you stand there with your cape and a leotard with a big “S” on your chest.  We do it all the time!  Oftentimes we complain of not getting any help, being overwhelmed, tired, and broke down.  I watched my mom for years, do all of the cleaning and fussin’ about cleaning, and groomed me to do the same thing.  I remember as a young lady, my mom telling me “when you get married, don’t start doing something unless you plan on doing it for the rest your marriage”.  That statement is so true.  Many of us started this thing off ALL WRONG!  First off, we started playing wifey before we even became wifey; some of us in hopes that he would “put a ring on it” as a result.  Womp Womp!!  All Wrong!! All that cookin’ breakfast, lunch, and dinner, cleaning, running errands, and taking care of his business, that you either started before you got married or right at the beginning of your marriage got you all “twisted up in the game”!  LOL!!  See, as you gain more responsibilities as a wife and a mother (whether they are children you birthed or not) the expectation for you to continue what you started doesn’t change.  Not to any fault of their (husbands) own; much of this we created ourselves.  Oftentimes we work harder not smarter! 

    

I remember having a love/hate relationship with the holidays when I was a kid.  My mom would pull out the good silver and polish it, she would bring out the good China from the China cabinet, she would iron the table cloth, and be up all night and morning cooking.  Then after everyone ate, she would start the process of washing everything and putting it all back in its proper place and putting all the food in Tupperware (you couldn’t dare put a pot in the fridge).  I had to help her do ALL of this while she complained of being tired at the end of the night.  What the h**?!  I remember thinking, why would you do all this if you’re just going to complain about being tired afterwards.  I vowed then to never, ever, ever, go through all of that during the holidays! 

I hear women complain all the time about how their husbands can’t clean, cook, do laundry, watch the kids (without someone being rushed to the hospital), or change a diaper!  We teach people how to treat us!  This includes husbands, family, and friends!  If you started being Superwoman at the beginning, know that you will have to keep it up!  But there is help!  Slowly but surely, we have to relinquish some control!  We share everything else; now learn to share some responsibilities.  Even if your husband or whoever, doesn’t do it the way you want it done, at least its getting done.  If you need help, ask for help.  Even if he doesn’t do it the first time, don’t stop asking.  I don’t mean nagging; there is a difference!  I can hear some of you saying “please he ain’t gon’ help me do NOTHING!” And guess what? Maybe not!  Some cases are more serious and tougher than others.  But even a small change is better than no change. But even if you can’t get him to be more helpful, you can change you!  You can learn to do what you can, and whatever you can’t, will not cause the world to end!  From one Superwoman to another, remove the cape!  To the married Superwomen, find a way to finish what you started.  To the single Superwomen, don’t start what you may not want to finish later!  Love Y’all!

Javonne G.

http://www.somethin2say.com/